"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
And yet I feel that is exactly what I do...nothing.
Being back from Peru I have had to face my faults and my shortcomings and it has not be easy. Living for the flesh is not wise. And being selfish takes a toll on a person's soul. God so desires a relationship with His people and all I do is run from that. Not because I do not want a relationship with Him but because of my own insecurities and shames that I feel as though I cannot cry out to Him. All lies from the enemy because in my heart I know that God has forgiven, He has redeemed me, and He has forgotten my past. Even as a new day comes and I make a mistake and ask His forgiveness, the slate is wiped clean.
So I need not worry of my imperfections, and yet they are engraved upon my soul and suffocating me.
I walk a free daughter in Christ and yet I brand myself.
I am my own weakness, my very own critic.
And it rolls over into every aspect of my life.
I long to serve and yet I take.
I long to love and yet I despise.
I long to care and yet I wallow in my pains.
I don't do what I want to do and I do what I don't want to do.
My God, my God please forgive me. I know I am unworthy but by the blood of Jesus I am set free, I am forgiven, I am redeemed.
By His grace, I am made new.
It is I that must make the decisions to walk in that newness, to live that life, to serve with a heart of gladness.
God help me. I know You have given me the strength I need to do the things You ask of me, so Lord, please help me.
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