Untitled.

I wrote this poem in 2015 about Tasha, my best friend who passed unexpectedly.

01/2015

Life is a mystery
And oftentimes brings such misery
But you were a beacon of hope
A refreshing cup of coffee
A twinkle of light in the dark.

Although you were scarred
Broken & bruised,
You were kind
You were compassionate
You were a joy to be around.

You listened with an open heart
Shared wisdom with no constraints
Gave over and abundantly
Loved completely unconditionally.

You were my best friend
You were a sister in Christ
You were an amazing mother
You were a rare gem.

No matter how time passes

You are forever remembered

Always in my heart

Until we meet again

                                                                                                  Sister friend.

Three Years Today

As life goes on
Your memory is not forgotten
It's a mystery why things happen
Still so confused and baffled
This world takes away
Breaks away pieces of our hearts
Leaving a mess of a person
To pick up the brokenness
And keep on going
So many joys along the way
So much life to be lived
So much potential,
Taken.

God's mysteries are hard to grasp
Oftentimes leaving so much heart break in our paths
But the beautiful thing is this,
He never leaves us forsaken
He never expects us to do it alone
He never promised us no pain
But he offers us his grace
He hands us his love
He gives us his hope
And he shares with us peace,
Peace that we can't explain
And laughter through the tears
Healing day by day
He remains.

10 Things I Hate About Small Town (Country) Livin'

1, I hate that there are not many options for kids when it's scorching hot outside or inside (unrelated).

There is an awesome park but when its 100 degrees outside, that's just not going to happen. Downtown is a fun tourist attraction but the sun is beating down on you. Again, not going to happen.

2. I hate that the lanes are 1 lane and that people drive extremely slow and typically don't pull off to let you pass them.

The highway is 55 but people drive 40....all the time. And you are stuck that way all the way in and out of town basically, unless they pull off (It's 25 downtown once in town).

3. I hate that you have to drive long distances to get to things that you need outside of the basic necessities.

There aren't any stores to go to outside of the one grocery store (which I love)! There is a Dollar General. But you have to really watch out for expired things at most places.

4. I hate that it takes 6 weeks to get into a doctors appointment just for a routine check up.

And you have to drive anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour just to get to the appointment. Enough said.

5. I hate that I have to be paranoid about spiders and other possible creatures.

Brown Recluse, Black Widow, even Tarantulas..Eek. No thank you.

6. I hate that there are not more drive thru options.

McDonald's and Subway just aren't cutting it. Especially when you have sleeping babies in the car and really want a snow cone or groceries. I hope Quik Trip goes with drive thru's. Moms will totally be taking advantage of that. Except that there isn't one nearby for me.

7. Heck, I can't think of anymore. I'm sure I could come up with them but all that to say, I don't hate small town country living! Sometimes there are inconveniences but there is also a slow pace to life and seems to be more quality time with family outdoors.

We must be content with where we are when we are there. God has placed us in this moment, for these moments and we should make the best of them. And even if they are hard, challenging, maybe even not what we wanted or it didn't turn out as planned, we must choose to see the beauty in it all.

My beautiful baby boys. Their love, laughter. They are precious gifts.
My faithful husband. His love, devotion, I am so blessed.
My family and friends who have loved us and supported us.
A home to live in, a car to drive, God's provisions.
The sun & the moon and the beauty of the trees, clouds, birds singing.
It's all right in front of us. We choose to see it or not.
I choose to be content with where I am, trusting in the knowledge I have that He always takes care of me and my family and He isn't going to stop now.

So choose love. Not hate. Choose happiness and joy. Choose to be content where you are.

Choose to be the difference you see in this world.

Shipwrecked

I wrote this awhile back and have wanted to share it for some time but for whatever reason, I have struggled with sharing my poetry freely like I once would have! But I am not afraid anymore. This is a safe place and I hope someone can relate to it and that it can maybe help someone. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

1/2015
It's like we're shipwrecked, 

Stranded

On an island

Over and over again

Capsizing

Never ending repetition

Never learning

Never changing

Over and over again

Weaving through the debris

Hoping for a change at sea

Desperately grasping for air

Drowning in this misery

Fading into oblivion

It's like we're shipwrecked,

Stranded

On an island

Over and over again

Capsizing

Never ending repetition

Never learning

Never changing

Over and over again

I see the sun is rising

Hoping for another day

A new escape

A bit of change

It's a mystery

But He knows

He sees

He helps

And He redeems

He's the hope

Within the waves

The light within the screams

He knows

He sees

He redeems

He's the hope 

Don't you see?

-Rita

Normalcy

Tomorrow my second son will be 1 month old.

I am desperately trying to find a "normal" for our lives. My first son will be 3 years old in December and he is definitely struggling with this less attention thing. He loves his little brother but he acts out when I have to give him attention.

I am still trying to get sleep, which isn't happening very successfully.
I do somewhat feel as though I am a failure as a mother.

I need to do better.
I want to do better.
But I feel as though I don't.

Now maybe that is just a feeling, maybe not.
Either way, I don't want to be stuck.
And I definitely don't want to be so lazy that I miss out on being the best I can be.

I feel this pressure from different angles.
 "Oh, he should be potty-trained by now."
"He should be able to do this, or say that, or recognize that.."
"He shouldn't be acting that way.."

Blah blah blah.
I respectfully disagree.
All children learn at different times and in different ways. No two children are alike.
And I am not going to feel like a bad parent just because someone else thinks it should be a certain way.

I know I can do better and I am trying to do just that but that is all I can do.
And that should be enough. Right?

I have beautiful children. I love them very much.
They are uniquely and fearfully made.
Being a mom is not always easy.
But it is the best gift from God I could ask for.

There is a balance I am trying to find in it all and although I have not found it just yet, it's okay.
It is not the end of the world.
So I apologize if I stay in my pajamas some days.
I apologize if the dishes do not always get done right away.
I am sorry if my house is not spotless.
And I am sorry if my son does not always listen (He is only 2 after all).

I am busy trying to love & play with my children.
Is that okay?
I hope so.

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him." -Psalm 127:3 NLT
"Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Oh Life!

I was reading a friends blog post about her life struggles and how she chooses life and to live for Christ and I was so encouraged by her words. Part of what I have written below was what I shared with her in my comment.

"Yesterday was the 29th birthday of my longest & dearest friend. She would have been 29 yesterday but she died a year ago tomorrow. She was a fighter until the end. Life just was not kind to her but God was rich in her life. She loved Him regardless. She was the most kind, caring & compassionate person, regardless of all the trials she faced. She loved fiercely and never gave up. Sin is alive & well in the world but thank God the enemy has been defeated.

Keep fighting the fight. Keep living for God through the trials and the triumphs.

She left behind a now 2 year & 4 month old son and that was definitely her greatest triumph. There were many years when we thought she never would conceive because of all she had been through and whether her body could handle it but God gave her the most beautiful son and although she is not here with him, God is with him and she lives on in her son. And in the love she bestowed upon her family & friends (ME)! She is now free from pain, praising God in heaven. She lived her life, fighting until the end and I am so encouraged that you choose to do the same, regardless of the trials you face, all those triumphs you have along the way are well worth it. And God shines on through you, through your daily decision to choose life and life abundantly.

My prayers are with you & I totally believe in God's perfect & beautiful plan for your life, whatever that may be, wherever He leads you & in every season He brings you through."


And I believe this for YOU, whoever may be reading this. God has a perfect plan for you. It will be full of trials & triumphs but do not give up. He is with you every step of the way. And although we may be undeserving, God loves us, believes in us, and never abandons us, even in the darkest of moments. He can be your strength and strong tower, your peace that surpasses all understanding if you just let Him. He loves you desperately and you are His child, His beloved and He has a plan for your life if you would just choose to walk in that life, no matter what it throws your way. I believe in you. Believe in yourself. Believe in the truths of the Father.

Beauty

12/31/14

A beauty within

She desperately seeks.

A beauty within

Plagues her thoughts

She desires to be

All she can be

And yet she falls short

More often than not.

An unfading beauty

What does that mean?

An unfading beauty

So gentle and serene

A spirit of quietness

A holy disposition.

An unfading beauty

She hardly sees.

Precious to God

Who, you ask?

Precious to God

You, I might add.

A woman is beautiful;

She carries this beauty,

Unfading beauty

For all to see.

She is gentle.

She is quiet

She is precious to God.

Sentimentality

As my son is approaching 2 years this weekend, I am saddened that my best friend is not here to share it with us. Yes, I have other best friends but one friend does not, nor can it replace the other. My best friend died almost a year ago shortly after her birthday. Very unexpectedly.
It broke my heart to see her leave behind a young son and also to not be able to say goodbye.
It still breaks my heart today that her son is growing up without her and that he may not be in the most stable of environments. I being the godmother feel a sense of duty and as a best friend, to protect him but I am unable to do so since he lives so far away.
But God knows. And I cannot believe that He would let her pass without fully knowing that her son would be left without a mother. He is with him, protecting him, I know this. But it still does not make it easy.

I just wish I could pick up the phone and call her and talk with her about all the details and then share pictures with her. Although we lived miles and miles apart, we were kindred spirits. She struggled though greatly and I know she is at peace now with Christ. But it still brings me to tears that she is not here and I still get all sentimental thinking about plans we had for our futures, for our sons to meet, to go to Disney, and to forever be in each others lives.

I still have hopes that our sons will one day meet. God knows the plans He has for us. And even if it is not this side of heaven, I trust in Him and in His goodness.

Losing a baby

To the woman who lost her baby in the womb.
I know how you feel. I know your pain. I know your sadness.
I know how it feels to not understand, to ask why?
 I know how it is to wonder what he/she would have looked like.
When would they have been born? How much would they weigh?
Would they favor me or their father?
Why did something go wrong?
Was it my fault? Could I have done anything differently?
I have battled those questions as well. And I have gotten no good answers.
So I know your struggle.
It's an internal battle, one in which many know of and many do not understand.
So many people say all the wrong things and some know exactly what to say.

I am not saying I have all the answers or know exactly what to say.
But I do know. I do understand. And I do still seek answers & wonder.

I know the One who has the answers, although we may not get them right now.
I know that He brings peace that surpasses all understanding.
I know that He will be like a Father, letting us cry on His shoulder.
I know that He understands loss and pain. He knows sadness.
And He is with our precious little ones in heaven.

I hope you believe in Him so that you can hold onto that peace.
That knowledge that your baby is safely in His arms, full of happiness & joy.
It would be hard to lose a baby and not believe in Him. I cannot fathom that.
So my prayer is that you will come to know Him personally. To find that healing.
To know of that love, joy & peace.
Because even in my sadness & grief, I have the hope of Christ.
He gives me His peace that surpasses all understanding & I know my baby is in His arms.
One day I will meet him/her and embrace them as I so long to do now but cannot.
For whatever reason that may be.

Injustice

There are many travesties in this world. So many injustices. An abandoned child. A murdered loved one. An abused person/child. An assaulted young lady. Sex trafficking. A person fired because they were disliked for a personal reason. Racism. Homeless children. People who are starving. An innocent person behind bars. A woman sexualized.

The definition of injustice: “unfair treatment: a situation in which the rights of a person or a group of people are ignored”

So many injustices. We cannot even begin to name them all. And we all jump on different bandwagons and advocate or protest or try and protect those people who are having those injustices done to them. And it is so important because it shows that there are people out there who care, love, and want that unity and peace that I think everyone really wants in the grand scheme of things.

Why then do the people who step in to protect choose to respond in anger, hatred, etc.? We should be responding in love.

We have all been hurt in our lives, some more than others. And we will never understand what other people have gone through or endured in their lifetime. What one person has gone through most likely has nothing to do with what you have gone through. Why then do we feel like we have been wronged the worst? We have been hurt the most, more than anyone else? Your pains & anguish are awful and so are the other persons!

The kid who was abused may not understand why you are starving or why the other person was looked down upon or physically harmed because of their race.

All injustices are wrong. There is evil in this world.

And it saddens my heart that any person of any race, religion, gender, has been hurt because of the evil in this world that we as humans create out of bitterness and anger and because we have not forgiven the people who have hurt us. Holding onto that in our hearts hurts us more than the person who did the injustice.

I apologize on behalf of those who have wronged you. I am sorry for your pain. I hope & pray that you can forgive that person and find that healing in Jesus Christ. I didn’t say it was easy but all things are possible with Christ.

Jesus is the ultimate example for everyone but especially for those who call themselves believers of Christ. He endured the worst of the worst and He did nothing wrong. He was wronged in every possible way and He was innocent. He was looked down upon because of who He was and He forgave. He loved. He cried out to God and He endured it all for the cross so that we as humans could be saved and forgiven. So that we could be the light in the dark. So that we could spread that love & peace of Christ.

We are to be the example that Jesus was and is to the world. We are His hands and His feet. We are to forgive and to not judge and act out in anger & bitterness. We are to respond in love, no matter what injustice has been done to us. We are to be love, no matter what injustice has been done to us. We are to be Jesus to the brokenhearted, no matter who did the injustice. We are to be the body of Christ.

Sometimes we may not get the answers we seek or want this side of heaven but God promised justice. I don't pretend to understand it all or to have all the answers. I just ask those who believe in Christ to stand up and be that example to the world.

"12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." -Colossians 3:12-15 NLT

Christmas struggles..

I am struggling with Christmas this year.  I have some friends who have recently changed their lifestyle. They have dug deeper into the word and researched and decided they do not believe in celebrating holidays that have started out pagan. And I may have this all wrong because I have not done sufficient research for myself. And they would put it more eloquently on what they believe & why and maybe I am interpreting things differently. I respect them greatly and I am glad they are seeking scriptures and doing research and figuring it out for themselves.
I just have this battle within now. Am I doing something I should not? That goes against God?

I love Christmas. Well, I love Jesus and celebrating His birth (even if its not His exact birthday). I love the joy & giving of Christmas. People are happier and kind and I just have a hard time seeing what is wrong with that?

So maybe I should just do things a little differently? Tweak it in a way that I feel comfortable with. Like no tree because that apparently is one of the more pagan things about it. Maybe I could just have a Happy Birthday Jesus cake and celebrate Jesus with my family and give gifts. Because I don't think that Jesus is opposed to us giving to our loved ones?
I have a hard time seeing what is wrong with celebrating Jesus, the Son of God. These scriptures put it perfectly and should be exactly what Christmas is about. Or take out the word Christmas and it should be exactly what Jesus' birthday is about.

"Mary did you know that your baby boy will some day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

Oh Mary did you know

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I AM."

Isaiah 9:6-7

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

I am not saying my friends are wrong. And I am not saying that I am right. All I am saying is that I am struggling with Christmas and/or what is right about celebrating holidays or doing things that began as pagan, even if that is not how I view it. I want to do what is right by God and not what is right by the world but I need peace about that and right now I do not have it either way.

It is a tradition that we have made in our families, one which would be hard to break but I want to raise my son right, to follow after the heart of Jesus and to live for Him in all things, so I need to figure this out and have the peace of Christ about it. Prayers would be appreciated. Your opinions are welcome as well but in the end I will take it to the thrown of Christ for peace & clarification.

Light in the Darkness

Tragedy really shows a persons character (thankfully we can change our character as we learn & grow and become a better version of ourselves). It can really bring out the absolute worst in a person. It's sad to see it unfold. But it also breaks my heart to see people in such pain, with absolutely no hope or peace. What a sad way to live life, without forgiveness and hope.
In life, there will always be tragedy. How you respond to that tragedy is what really matters. Unfortunately we do not always see justice served this side of heaven. God said He would have justice for all and He is good on His word. So even if we do not see results now; truth and justice win out in the end. Honestly, I do not know the truth in this current situation and honestly no one does unless they physically were present during the altercation. I do know a son died, a grandson, a cousin, uncle maybe? A life was lost and that is sad no matter what! And everyone wants the truth and justice when someone dies. That is completely understood and justified.
Protesting for a cause is fine and good especially since we are all about freedom of speech in this country. But causing physical harm to someone, something, or yourself is not the answer.


Love is what we are lacking. True, genuine, unconditional love is what we need. Love is the evidence, the fruit of all good. Love is the outcome when you give rather than take. Love is the outcome when you are selfless rather than selfish. Love is the outcome when you protect rather than harm. Love is the outcome when you serve rather than slave. We need more love in our lives. More love in this country. Love brings peace. Love brings healing. Love brings forgiveness. True, real love that is unconditional, comes from God. Jesus is love. He was & is the example. We need that love.
And lets not forget that just because one person responds badly, lies, cheats, murders, does NOT by any stretch of the imagination mean that all people who look or talk or walk like that person are the same. Just as we do not want to be judged or put into a box, we should also remember not to do that to others. We should treat others as we want to be treated.
Jesus we ask that You be with our nation in its crisis. We ask that You are evident in the midst of all the pain, anger, resentment, bitterness, confusion and chaos. We ask that people would have enough love for themselves and others to be wise rather than react in anger or speak in anger. We ask that those who chose justice as their jobs would live out what they pledged and be men & women of honor. Sometimes it is hard to take the high road but we ask that You would bring truth & justice, peace that surpasses all understanding and unity. What the enemy intends for evil, please turn it around for good. Bring joy in the midst of the darkness and let Your light shine through and make a difference in the lives affected by all of this tragedy. We thank You Jesus that You are here in the midst of all this even though we are undeserving. We ask for Your grace & mercy and forgiveness through all of our failures & shortcomings. We are not perfect but You are. So please provide a way where there seems to be no way. Help us to learn & grow from these awful situations so that we can be better people for ourselves, for others and for our nation. We thank You now for all that You have done & will continue to do. We thank You that You see the bigger picture even when we do not. We trust in Your unfailing love. Amen.

Superstitions

where do they come from? why do people believe them? they are stories passed down from generation to generation? or is it merely a cultural thing? how do you break those bondages? as a missionary at heart, knowing that respecting your elders is a big thing, how do you know when or if it is okay to speak up or out? i have always struggled with this in all areas of life, not just here in peru. i have always been the peacemaker or voice of reason and i had to learn to be confrontational and to defend myself and/or my beliefs.  i know so many who will speak so freely, without a care in the world of who they could possibly offend. but i am always thinking of how my words can be interpreted and who i might offend and so oftentimes i say nothing. but i know sometimes i should speak and i do more now than ever before but i still struggle with it. so back to these superstitions. we give power to them by speaking them and believing in them because words are powerful but that does not make them right or true. And they only have the power that we give them. how do we take things that have been engraved in us and just stop believing them when someone just comes in and says they are not true without anything to back it up!?! How can I respectfully disagree without offending? I usually just let it be but when it comes to Britan I find myself wanting to defend my parenting. I love my son and would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. But thats the same thing other parents would also say and yet may be doing things that are not right and true. And I am not better than anyone else so its just a sticky situation all around. I guess what I am saying is that if we are believers in Christ, we put His ways and His truths ahead of what we were raised to believe and ahead of what our culture says. We are to believe His Word entirely and seek His Kingdom! I feel as though I will never be in that place personally where I can step into leadership and make a difference, influence lives. But who am I to say that? It is not me who makes a difference or influences but Christ in me so then I guess that means I can step into that role if He would like me to because He is the one who changes lives, not me. I just have to be willing and He will use me. He uses everyday normal people like you and me so that when something does happen, and it will if He's in control, so all the glory goes to Him! Anyway, I guess that means I cannot hold back. I cannot wait for the right moment. The moment is now and He wants it all. I am here Lord, use me.

Life is So Short...

To be living in the past, or living a lie, or to live on pause, or not living at all. We have but this life to live and love our Savior and to love others and show them His perfect love. How can we sit here and think we are better than others, more deserving, or be judgmental or hate. God said love the sinner, hate the sin. So that does not mean we get the option to judge or hate the person who lives in sin. We are supposed to live the example in love and let God do the rest. He is the only one who can judge because none of us are perfect. Even as we love and live for God we fall short and sin. But we do have the choice to live in sin and we need to know the difference.

True repentance means turning away from the things of the world. We are to live in the world but not of it.

I am so blessed to be here and to be reminded of all the little things that really matter, like family and friends and spending time with them, loving on them and reminding them who they are in Christ. I am so not perfect and I can be a hypocrite at times because I struggle in the faith often but I love God and I so desperately want to live my all for Him and I so desperately want others to know His love. His love is so perfect and beautiful and compassionate and forgiving. He takes away the pain, wipes away the tears and gives us peace and  comfort and hope. It definitely does not mean that life all of a sudden becomes easier or that we will not have problems because we will. Its the way of the world and we live in it so there will be times of great difficulty. But we have the one who can bring us hope and strength to endure those times. And if we do end up dying, we have hope in Him that we have died but we are alive with Him in heaven, free of all pain and difficulty.

Anyway, not trying to preach to anyone, but myself maybe. It is just my way of expressing my thoughts and you can agree or disagree, that is fine. I just have to be honest with myself and anyone who may be reading.

Today we will have time with family and maybe some friends. We are going to just take these last days in, every moment and hopefully get more pictures in. We do not have any set plans except tomorrow to go to the pools. Otherwise, we are just hanging out with family as much as possible. I hope you have time this weekend to be with your loved ones and share with them your love, the love of the Father and to bask in His precious love.

With all our love,

Rita, Brian & Britan

Oh Peru...

Sometimes it is so surreal that we are back in Peru. Other times it is as though we never left. If we had the house we are currently living in, plus some alterations based on personal interest, I think we could live here. If we had jobs that could provide our needs and were safe. In other words, that won't be happening anytime soon. But we are open to God bringing us outside of Oklahoma or the USA if He thinks we should go. Being here reminds you to be thankful for what you do have. And also proves that one can survive without all the materials of the world. There are so many without water, without clean water or four walls around their house. There are so many without bathroom or kitchens or proper bedding. We must be thankful for what we have because there are so many without. And they could be your neighbors just next door! Remember that when you go to buy unnecessary items. That could be well-spent money that could bless orphans or families who are without! We have mostly spent our time with Brian's family so they can have time with Britan! And he is loving it, soaking up all the attention and playtime! Britan also went to the beach for the first time! He only got his feet wet, mostly playing with sand! we are also getting in some  pool time and enjoying this hot weather before having to return to winter weather :(   days have passed so slowly and it has been so lovely but our departure is rapidly approaching and we are sad to say goodbye. We leave Monday night for Lima and dp we leave Lima Wednesday around 12:30 am. So we will be back before you know it! Thank you for the  prayers, they are felt! Britan seems to be doing so much better, thank God and  YOU!

Pacasmayo Here we are!

We took the bus to Lima. It was a long 12 hours from Lima. The buses have upgraded since I was here. They have internet, chargers for computers & phones and each person has their own tablet in front of them. And the seats are like lazy boy chairs. They also feed you dinner. I of course forgot to take my medicine before we began our travels so I was sick for the first 2-3 hours. Brian had to take care of Britan because I could not move. It was awful. Blah. Britan did well other than not wanting to be in a car seat for 12 hours. He has really adjusted well and nothing seems to faze him. He is loving his time outside, getting all dirty in the dirt and spending time with his aunts, uncle, cousins, and grandma.
We have been blessed to stay at the orphanage so I have been able to see some of the kids, most of the kids I knew are gone and it is all new faces. I did not realize so many kids were being adopted to the USA to the same area as the others in Missouri. How awesome is God!! We have been blessed to also spend time with Maggie & Jake and their kids! It has been nice to visit! We mostly have been just hanging out with family in our little home for our time here.
Everyone loves Britan. I do get a few comments about his feet and putting shoes on backwards but he is fine. Britan is not wanting to eat a lot, just go go go! So much new things to see and do, he doesnt know what to do with himself.
Tomorrow we may go to San Pedro to the little mini water park after lunch, depending on how much it costs. Lima is so expensive, thankfully its not as bad here. But we do want to help Brians family out if we can with a kitchen, new connections for electricity and maybe a table. We will see what we have towards the end of the trip to be able to do that for them. It is hard. Brian has been saving up for this for the past two years just so we can have this time with them and so he could bless his family while we are here but we have to be careful with how we spend it. So please pray for wisdom.
Anyway, the time goes much slower here which is nice because we want to enjoy every moment we have while we are here, taking in everything.
I think from all the travels, my lower back gave me a hard time today. All of a sudden I had massive pain and Brians sister was able to massage  it and I rested and felt much better. I was thinking of Heather and her appendix and was like OH MY GOSH please NO! Thank God for our health and thank you for your continued prayers for our health while we are here.
Britan has scared us 2 times since being here. In Lima at the hotel he fell face down the stairs. He was on the 4th stair down and i could not get to him fast enough and he had a good cry and I kept an eye on him but thank God he is okay. But then when we got here to Pacasmayo we were at a restaurant and sitting down and Britan got up and started running around and i thought the door was closed but it was open and he slipped out and both Brian and I got up and ran screaming because the roads are so busy. It was a terrifying moment as a parent that I do not want to think about. My goodness.
Otherwise Britan just wants to get all dirty with this dirt and sand because he is not used to being outside in the dirt. Haha! We do not have a yard at our house in the USA.
Anyway, we are having a wonderful time. We have monopoly and cards and we are just hanging out. I hope you are all blessed and well. My thoughts are with you. We love you all.
-Rita, Brian & Britan
P.S. I apologize for errors. This is a spanish key board & I do not know how to change some things.

Peru here we are!

We left for Peru on Tuesday morning. The flight from Tulsa to Dallas ended up getting delayed. We flew to Dallas but could not land so we returned to Tulsa and sat in the airplane. We did not get to Dallas until 11:45 am instead of the ETA of 9:25 am. So that put us behind for all our flights. Thankfully our Dallas flight was delayed since the weather was bad but then we did not leave until 1 and so then we were going to miss our flight from Miami to Peru. But there was an airline worker standing at the gate with a sign for LIMA and he took us by the Little car to our gate and we rushed on. I felt like we were on Home Alone, rushing to make our flights and leaving Kevin behind. But instead of Britan being left behind (thankfully), our bags did not make it onto our flight. So when we arrived to Lima at 10:30 pm we did not actually leave the airport until midnight because of having to fill out paper work. Thankfully the pastor was waiting for us still and he took us to our hotel, which is a great place to stay if you ever come to Peru and need to stay in Lima. Friends House. It is in a  really safe área of town and it is a really good Price. It is where the peace corp workers stay when they come to Lima.
Side note: This keyboard is in spanish and so it changes words I write, so excuse all the weird and random errors.
Anyway, since we had to wait to receive our bags, we could not purchase our bus tickets so we had to stay two nights. We did receive our luggage on Wednesday morning but the airport people were so kind as to go through our bags and take a few things for themselves for all the trouble it took for them to get our bags back to us. We are short my nice camera that Brian got me for mothers day & my birthday 2 years ago. We are also short Brians Surface Tablet, which he was going to leave with his family so we could stay in better contact. And Brians favorite pair of shoes. It is unfortunate & disappointing but things happen and we are safely here. That is what is most important. God is so good and got us here safely and we trust He will continue to keep us safe in His arms as we journey on! I put too much trust in the system, forgetting how things can be here sometimes but thankfully we serve a big God.
We got to explore Lima, eat some yummy foods. I got to go and see Gap here in Peru. It looks good and nice, it seems over priced but not sure if that is just me or what. They do have security guards in suits by the doors which i thought was too funny but I am sure needed.
Britan is doing really well through it all. He did wonderful on the flights, only crying 2 times when he was really tired. He is getting a Little stir crazy in the hotel since the room is so small but he is doing great. We leave tonight at 6:30 pm for our final destination. We are super excited and cannot wait to see Brians family and to enjoy the rest of our trip. Thanks for the continued prayers. They are much appreciated! Until next time, have a blessed day & week!
-Rita, Brian & Britan

The Fault in Our Stars

What an incredible love story! Man, I cried like a baby at the pre-funeral and at the end! To have such deep, passionate, infinite love for another person! I love how her father says, "now you know how your mother and I love you!" And it's true, even more so with Christ. Try to fathom all the love in the world that you have for your spouse or your children or family & friends. The love God has for us is 100 times more powerful. It's THE epic love story. Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect life in a fallen world and died a cruel death that only us as sinners deserve but He took our place when He did not have to but He loved us and so He died for us so that we could have life and have it abundantly. Now that takes form in different ways. These two people (spoiler alert) are dying of cancer and yet they choose to see the beauty in the world & in each other and to love each other to their last dying day! They chose happiness when they could have lived in depression and sadness. People who are in great despair who choose to see the brighter side are so inspirational. It's so easy to give into that grievance and feed off of it rather than choose to make the best of the circumstances you have. These two love birds didn't even really believe in God. Now imagine as believers in Christ how much we have to live for, how much we have to die for? We have hope in Christ that we will live eternally even after we die physically. So I choose today to live life to the fullest, to persevere in the dark moments of life and always choose Christ when I struggle the most with those inner demons. God is bigger than the biggest thing I fight with and He cares about the littlest thing I struggle with! He is with His children every step of the way, no matter what we are going through! So be happy, enjoy your loved ones, make memories and live like you were dying!

Sunday Fun Day!

Today has been a wonderful day. My husband had off this weekend, which normally is not the case so all weekend has been family time and it has really been a blessing, a very much needed one. So we went to church this morning and my best friend made it so I got a great big gigantic hug from her, which always helps. The message was a great reminder and the fellowship with other believers was refreshing! I realized that I haven't really mourned the loss of this child and felt really at peace at church, as if God was reminding me it's okay to cry and mourn this child. I have cried a little bit not really! At the right time, I know I will cry buckets full but I'm just not ready and I could tell God was just reassuring me that its okay, when I am ready, to cry.

We had a good time with friends & family and enjoyed a relaxing day! God is good and He is with us always. We have a little over a week before we have our family vacation and it will be so good to get out of the normal everyday and enjoy ourselves!
Also when we return I feel as though the opportunities are endless in which direction God will lead us! I told my husband today that I would go wherever God leads us so we are trusting Him to lead us where we should go!

My husband is looking for a more stable, better paying job. He is looking for a job that can provide benefits for his family and a job he can not only enjoy but be challenged and given the oppportunity to grow in! I know God will provide exactly what He wants for us in this season of life so we are just taking it day by day!

Mom's Night Out

Such a great movie..
A great reminder that we are not perfect but God loves us anyway. We are always trying to prove ourselves to everyone, especially ourselves. We forget that we are good enough for God so we need to accept that we are good enough for ourselves.

I am working on believing that. I have let so much of the negative things in my life blur the truth that I so desire for every person to believe.

I am His masterpiece.
I am His beloved.
I am His chosen one.
I am His daughter.
I am His princess.
I am His redeemed child, made in His image, created long ago, with a purpose, for a purpose.

I must only believe and walk out this truth. Some days I do but a lot of days I don't.
So many days I doubt myself and the gifts He has given me.
But He created me to be the mother I am so He has equipped me.
He gave me the gift of writing, so I do have a story to tell.
He gave me this love for the hurting and broken in the world and although I am uncertain how it is to manifest, He has me on this journey called life and each day He has the opportunity to use me, teach me, take me one step closer, to fulfilling my purpose this side of heaven.

Don't forget. You are enough.