Friday chapel

I have been fighting repetitious thoughts that have been haunting me from my past.

It has been a silent battle that I have tried to overcome on my own strength but to no avail.
Friday in chapel we had a different speaker than our usual Dr. Rutland (he was in New York City for the 9/11 tribute, he was asked to take part in it)! So a pastor of a church across the street, spoke. I always love hearing what he has to say, they are always good solid messages. But in my head, I was like, this will be a good message, but nothing to make me cry over or anything.
And so he was preaching on being moved with compassion for people, no matter what! And anytime anyone speaks on compassion or love towards everyone, I am always brought back to those who have hurt me in the deepest ways and how I should be loving them regardless. But I have never known how to show that love from afar, always thinking that I should let them back into my life when that is not necessarily always the case.
So anyways. He spoke on Matthew 14, 1 Corinthians 2:1-5, and Romans 15:18-19
He talked about how something happens to us when we let God's love flow through us and how God has not only given us love, but power. And how we witness Jesus' healing and deliverance in scripture. And how the Gospel was presented to be demonstrated. And how the Word of God is power.
Basically he started speaking about healing and how we are to bring healing through Christ, just as Christ did when he roamed the earth. And he talked about how in order for us to bring healing, we must first be healed spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. And he started listing off more specific things that people needed to be healed from and he said that there are people who are replaying things from the past in their minds, repetitious thoughts that need to stop and how they were going to be delivered from that. And I just knew he was talking to me.
I stood up when he asked those of us who needed to be prayed for and people came around and were praying and I was like, this is not one of those crying moments. I just didn't feel it. People were praying but when he started praying I just started balling my eyes out. And it was such a cleansing cry. A needed cry. And I haven't been plagued by those thoughts since then!
Amen and Amen, right? God is so good.